i just feel like writing. i want to express myself. i’ve been reading a lot recently. i’ve been absorbed into worlds created by the authors. sigh. sometimes i wonder whether my thirst for more from my life is because i read too much. hahahaha
this weekend have been a TVB drama marathon. i sat in front of the tv, watching ASTRO ON DEMAND, forensic heroes 2. i could not pull myself away from the tv… and now, i feel as if i wasted my weekend away.
for the past few days, migraines have been tailing me, following me wherever i go. i wonder why. the weather has been erratic… a week ago it was raining cats and dogs, and recently, it is so hot…. must make a mental note to drink more water.
sometimes i get emotional over nothing, just by listening to songs, and feeling the blues. its only then my mental block for writing goes away, and words just simply pour out from within me. if you noticed my title, better in time.. its a song that i am listening to, inspiring me to spew out words.
i wish to be better. a better person. i tend to always seek for things, things that can bring happiness and along the way, i think i lost the plot. i lost the way. i lost myself. i simply dont know what i want. if only, there is a dummy guide, steps for happiness. i think the key to happiness is contentment but at the same time, i refused to be too contented simply because i think it hinders progress. for example, if i were to be contented 2 years ago, just by working as an unimportant do it all girl around the office, then i wouldn’t be where i am today. i would not have take the leap out of my comfort zone and reach for higher limits.
aargh. confused, neurotic, phobic me. i’m learning i’m learning. i’m just beginning to learn how to stop obsessing how to be happy and just focus on life. i’m just gonna do my best, and let things be how it wants to be. let go all controls, and have faith in God, He will guide me. and in time, i WILL become better.